....that's what I am. I don't make it a point to self loathe..but every now and then..it's required. The saying "If you go looking for something, you'll find it" is true in every sense.
Maybe I should give you a lil background...or not. Let's just say, my relationship didn't start on the best foot. My now fiance was going thru a divorce when we met and he failed to mention that at the time. When you have time and feelings invested in someone it's hard to let them go. However, it's easy to hold on to suspicion constantly and I am always suspicious of everything he does. Almost, not trusting him. Most of my suspicion I keep to myself, however, I drive myself crazy with the constant researching and 'trying' to find things. Only to get proven wrong in ever sense....most of the time.
Well, today, I did my usual, check his e-mail acct. Usually it's nothing there to look at. However, today in the sent box, there's an e-mail to a woman that he used to be in love with. Now I only know his feelings for her thru previous e-mails he sent to her before we met. In those e-mails they were lovey dovey. Since, I'm a private detective by nature, I printed the e-mail w/the full header so I have a time and date stamp of when he sent it......and i put it in my filing cabinet at work. Yes, I have issues. But, when every I confront someone about anything, I like to have backup evidence. So, I wont say anything. I'll just monitor the activity and go from there. It could be a harmless conversation of "just wanted to say HI" type thing. I mean she e-mailed him being curious to see if he still had that account and he only responded. No lovey dovey stuff....
But, I'm watching and waiting......
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1 comment:
Maybe u shud try nt be so suspicious.. u guyz are engaged! Trust shud be rily important..
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