Happy Birthday to Me....

I know understand those women that are scorned. I get it. I understand those that swear off men and lump them all into the same category.

I am one of those women. After moving and trying with him to start back at square 1, I see that that isn’t an option. Slowly over the past few weeks and months, our connection to each other is slowly dying. We’re not close like we used to be. He betrayed me, but I still love him. I want to believe that he wants this as much as I do. I want to believe that he’ll try anything to make this work. But, I see now that he won’t. He keeps telling me that he ‘doesn’t know what to do’. I don’t understand that. I tell him to ‘do what you did when we first started dating’. But, that isn’t good enough, because he still acts clueless.

Well, today is the straw that broke the camels back. Today is my birthday and he hasn’t acknowledged it. When we first started dating, I told him that I love my birthdays and anyone I’m with should treat them as if they love them too. Call it what you want, but I laid ground rules in the beginning.

The 1st birthday, he took me to Miami! I loved it.

The 2nd birthday, he was stationed overseas and he sent me a gift from Italy.

The 3rd birthday, and by far the most important since it was my 30th, we just went to dinner. Oh, let’s not forget that the weekend before, I found out he had been cheating on me because the woman called me.

Here we are at the 4th birthday since we’ve been together and he has yet to acknowledge it. No “Happy Birthday” or “I have a surprise for you”..nothing. We’ve talked about 6 times today already and still nothing. Should I remind him?? NO WAY. 3 years we dated. My birthday was never an issue before so why now.

However, in the meantime, I’ve received the most perfect gifts from friends and family. I didn’t know what I wanted for my birthday, but everything that I’ve received was perfect!

And it’s not about the gifts. It’s the thought. All the gifts I received shows that someone put thought into getting me something special.

My co-worker and I joke about the SNL skit “D*** in a Box” all the time. For my birthday, she actually wrapped a box and cut a hole out of it…the funniest thing.

I’ve received endless birthday wishes from people. Today has been made special. But the one person that should be on top of their game has yet to show anything. That only leads me to believe that I am no longer the important person to him he claims I am.

Am I hurt? Yes. Do I want to cry about it? Yes… but I’m not. I’ve had a really good day today. I’m glad that the ones that love me have helped to make it special.